Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[Suzi]

I am so proud of you reading that post! I know you're struggling a bit atm, but I wanted to also say that you are sounding so much more mature and completely different than you have done in the past. You aren't blaming everyone and everything else for the way that you are feeling - you have acknowledged that your situation isn't great, but you are trying to do things to change it. That's huge.
The fact you are staying to protect your Mum is completely admirable and I think it's so lovely - but really your brother sounds completely out of control and sounds like he could do with some professional help.

I also wanted to say that I've noticed you venturing out of your thread and posting on others recently, with really good, kind and caring comments. Just wanted you to know that I've noticed and it's so lovely to see. You really have changed and it's lovely..

[SA89]

It seems to me like you are one sort of person inside, living in a world that expects you to be another kind of person. I think if you change your life, whether that involves changes to one or all of the following: where you live, where you work, your friends, family, your hobbies, where you go out, or if you go out drinking at all.. then you will have a chance to be who you really are. You might need professional support to deal with the self esteem issues, but you could lose a lot of the stress and negative reinforcement by just doing something else completely.

I would say just stop doing the things that you know are bad for you. Start doing something that are different. Sport club instead of night club.. for example. There will be a difficult inbetween period where you won't know if you will ever make a new social circle.. but it will slowly grow and you will be able to make a fresh start and act the way you want to instead of dealing with the bull that you have around you now. You can be yourself.

It is really cheesy and probably kinda annoying to read, but a therapist said it to me once: If you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you have always had. Time to switch it up. For those things you want for yourself.. you can have them

Not sure what the situation with your brother and mum needs.. probably he should be kicked out. But if that is not possible, maybe you two could move house. Maybe you could live on your own. All I know is I read your posts and I think you gotta change it all. Get some control back over the basic things in your life and see a therapist for the internal things you can't change alone.

(Do ignore me if my advice doesn't help, it is a bit strong I know, it is just my opinion and I was hoping it would help.)

Hey Amaya, this is great advice & I want you to know that it's appreciated, I even go back & read these posts from time to time. Anyway your spot on with what you said & it's interesting that I felt really positive a few weeks ago by simply being more active socially. I was attending barbecues, pubs & went camping for 3 days. Now I seemed to have crashed again back into my routine of sleeping till 5pm & it's f***** me up. My depression & anxiety have been pretty bad these past few days because I'm once again in a pit of uncertainty. I'll still see those people who I went camping with but it's not a frequent thing as they have their own lives & the girl I went out with last week well, that's mentioned above..

A lot of people with anxiety are "stars that can't shine". I'm seeing a counselor weekly so that's somethin because I've been cold turkey off anti-depressants for about a month or so now.

I am so proud of you reading that post! I know you're struggling a bit atm, but I wanted to also say that you are sounding so much more mature and completely different than you have done in the past. You aren't blaming everyone and everything else for the way that you are feeling - you have acknowledged that your situation isn't great, but you are trying to do things to change it. That's huge.
The fact you are staying to protect your Mum is completely admirable and I think it's so lovely - but really your brother sounds completely out of control and sounds like he could do with some professional help.

I also wanted to say that I've noticed you venturing out of your thread and posting on others recently, with really good, kind and caring comments. Just wanted you to know that I've noticed and it's so lovely to see. You really have changed and it's lovely..

Thanks that means a lot. I wish I could say I've changed but I feel like I need to validate it first by getting a job or a girlfriend or a car first. That's just how my f***** up anxious mind works .. I'm forever in a bubble of uncertainty because I have nothing concrete like everyone else has like a happy relationship or whatever. I'm often belittled for not having a job or a girlfriend so if I can improve in those areas maybe my depression will lift somewhat.