Loneliness *SU Trigger*

[Strugglingmum]

I ended up just dissolving into tears all over my husband. Quickly turned to sobbing and me pouring out how awful I was feeling about being a weight round his neck and useless etc etc etc.
He said he had no idea how frustrated I was with myself and how low I was feeling about feeling inadequate and of no use to man nor beast. He listened and tried to reassure me that he loves me whatever. He is so so good that I feel so guilty that he is lumbered with me. He deserves so much better

[Allalone]

I ended up just dissolving into tears all over my husband. Quickly turned to sobbing and me pouring out how awful I was feeling about being a weight round his neck and useless etc etc etc.
He said he had no idea how frustrated I was with myself and how low I was feeling about feeling inadequate and of no use to man nor beast. He listened and tried to reassure me that he loves me whatever. He is so so good that I feel so guilty that he is lumbered with me. He deserves so much better

Well done for telling him! It’s better that he knows how you’re feeling. He isn’t lumbered with you. He clearly cares and loves you. Don’t be down on yourself for not being able to do things around the house. You are ill, you need looked after too. Take care. Keep fighting.xx

[Paula]

Oh, I must have had that same conversation with my husband hundreds of times. He always tells me that, if he didn’t love me so much he would have left a long time ago. It sounds like your husband feels the same. Marriage is a partnership and part of that is taking the slack for your partner when needed. There will be times (if there hasn’t already) when you’ll need to take the slack for your husband. This is just his moment. And you’re not in the least bit inadequte - you spent yesterday walking the dog, doing the ironing, putting washing on. All necessary tasks and ones your husband didn’t have to do because of your work.

[Suzi]

I ended up just dissolving into tears all over my husband. Quickly turned to sobbing and me pouring out how awful I was feeling about being a weight round his neck and useless etc etc etc.
He said he had no idea how frustrated I was with myself and how low I was feeling about feeling inadequate and of no use to man nor beast. He listened and tried to reassure me that he loves me whatever. He is so so good that I feel so guilty that he is lumbered with me. He deserves so much better

He's awesome. He's also right.
However I've had the same conversation with Marc time and time again - especially when some other part of me breaks. BUT I can see it from both sides because he has said the same to me about him with his mental health and I can't tell him enough that actually I love him, all of him. Yes he does things that p(ss me off (snoring, leaving teaspoons balanced on the edge of the sink, falling asleep in odd places and then saying he isn't asleep all whilst snoring) and although I wish he didn't have to fight with the stuff in his head every day I absolutely adore him. He is the kindest and most lovely man on the planet.
You see, if it was the other way round for you would you stop loving him because he was poorly? What if you had a physical illness? Would you expect him to stop loving you?
Stop being so harsh on yourself.. Have you ever done the exercise where you find 5 things about you that you love (here we start with don't hate about yourself)? Give it a go....