Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having alw

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome. I personally don't see that it matters, it will happen when it happens, but then I am not male and have a different set of pressures.

I'm pretty confident that there will be more people than you realise who are still a virgin at 30. It most certainly doesn't make you undateable or unattractive and it definitely doesn't make you a freak!

It might be worth starting to work on your social skills, a lot of the time the more you practise something the easier it gets. Maybe if you feel a little more comfortable around people you would find it a little easier to meet someone?

[Lundi_Hákarlsson]

Hi and welcome. I personally don't see that it matters, it will happen when it happens, but then I am not male and have a different set of pressures.

I'm pretty confident that there will be more people than you realise who are still a virgin at 30. It most certainly doesn't make you undateable or unattractive and it definitely doesn't make you a freak!

It might be worth starting to work on your social skills, a lot of the time the more you practise something the easier it gets. Maybe if you feel a little more comfortable around people you would find it a little easier to meet someone?

Thanks for responding. As a male, there is definitely a different dynamic. Many males, especially those under 30, will outright call you names if you ever hint that you are a male virgin past even age 20. There is a certain amount of bullying in male-to-male interactions that is probably not prevalent in female-to-female interactions.

Even family members make comments. Apparently they tell my mother about how I am weird because I am almost 30 and they never saw any of my girlfriends. Rumours regularly circulate about me being asexual or just a completely weird.

In contrast, my mother was a virgin until age 27, but she said that no one ever made negative remarks about her for this. Maybe women are just not as brutal as men when it comes to insulting each other.

I am trying to work on my social skills now. I feel that I am very late to catch up.

Exactly an hour ago a woman with whom I went out a week ago told me that she would rather be friends and nothing more. It hurts, but I am used to disappointment, so it does not hurt as much. At least it was not like when I was 26 and a girl whom I knew for a long time asked me to dinner on Valentine's Day, then cancelled abruptly saying that she was going with someone else. That really hurt. However, today it hurts enough that I feel physically sick to my stomach when thinking about this.

I think about the popular film 40 Year Old Virgin, which basically makes fun of an older male who is a virgin without wanting to be so. So there is a certain degree of ridicule with being a virgin this long; I just do not know to what extent nowadays. I do not want to end up like the caricature of some awkward male as portrayed in that film.

I live in San Francisco, USA, which has the dubious reputation of being the city in the Western world with the highest male-to-female ratio amongst the age group 20-40. Around 70%+ of people in this age group are all male.

I wish to move to Europe as soon as I can. I know from first-hand experience that when I lived in the UK, people were much friendlier and more compassionate than here where I live. Maybe not as many women in Europe would find my situation strange. At least I hope so.