Oh I think I understand that feeling. I fear crying because it makes me feel I am drowning to that moment, that emotional vortex that sucks away everything I have and even am. It is terrifying. And fighting it makes things simply worse. But as empty as I feel afterwards, it somehow feels purifying as well. Or then I am just relieved I survived that emotional hell, and can finally calm down. It is funny how you know there is nothing bad or weak In crying, yet it feels like whole world would stop and stare. Hang In there. I am so happy to hear you feel better.