Luke 23:44-49
[44] It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, [45] for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. [46] Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last. [47] The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.” [48] When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away. [49] But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.

I’m going off piste a bit here, and not following the study book. Because I want to share something very personal to me. Matthew’s Gospel records Jesus as saying, at this point, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ Matthew 27:46. Jesus had, for the first time in eternity, felt the lack of the Father’s presence as he died, took our sin, and temporarily went to hell, so that we didn’t have to. The Father had to turn his back to Jesus, because He can’t be in the presence of sin.

Even before I committed my life to Jesus, every time I went into crisis, I felt the lack of the Father’s presence. And this is why it took me so long to become a Christian - how could He abandon me when I needed Him most? Except it wasn’t God who turned his back on me, I turned my back on Him. My pain meant I couldn’t see that He was with me even in the worst moments of my life. The words of the famous ‘Footprints on the Sand’ prayer sum it up for me:

“One night I had a dream…

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the
most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why in times when I
needed you the most, you should leave me.

The Lord replied, “My precious, precious
child. I love you, and I would never,
never leave you during your times of
trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you”