I keep thinking about this a lot. The thoughts and feelings I have about these topics. People tell me often to speak my mind and ask if I would like something. Tell people what it is that I like or dislike.

But the reason I dont like doing something like this is how it makes me feel. Now I have the feeling that I am being petty. Selfish. And that my thoughts and feelings are bad.

I think in the end what I would have liked was to have a better stronger connection to people. Thats why I try to reply to people by saying if there is anything I can do let mme know.

I feel terrible typing all of this. Because of how this is making me look. But its not that I want to talk to everyone in the phone. Although its clear that being a friend is something different in everyone eye.

It feels like all I can say now is sorry. So thats what I will end my post with.
Sorry.