What you are telling us, its not easy. I agree with Suzi. You do deserve someone that will treat you right. I remember when I might someone in another country. We both tried to see each other as fast as we could. To see if there was something between us that you can only know in person.
When I read your thread I get the idea that you are hoping o find mr right. And that with his validation you will feel better? That his love will pick you up and will carry you. It will. But only the first times. After that things will get harder again and struggles will return. Even if the relationship is perfect.
All that Suzi is saying is true. And when you do meet someone I hope you will still go on with seeing help. So everything can keep growing like a tree. As strong and good roots. For yourself and for a future relationship