Hi, Liv, and welcome. I’ve added a trigger warning to your post - it’s nothing to worry about, it just means that other members can avoid your thread if there’s something there that might be a trigger.

I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much. What happened after your mother died? Where did you live? How long ago was that? Have you had any support dealing with all this? Have you talked to your doctor? (Sorry for all the questions....)