need advice or perspective *su and sh* triggers

[AAndrea]

Hello Walkden and welcome to DWD
The people here are really lovely and full of compassion for others. You will find a home in this forum. I have . I believe undernath that cloud of darkness there is an amazing loving caring fun man . It is so sad this man cant see how amazing he is and how there people out there who care him. I care othewise i would be sleeping right now. You are not pathetic . You are just confused and lost and scared . All need is the right help. Sucide is the biggest killer of men . It is imporant you get help .

I am 22 years old . I dont think you are a failure at all. The problem with the world we live in we are all expected to confirm. We are told from when we are young to go to school, get a job, get married and have kids. If we dont meet that standard then we are made feel like we failed and there is something wrong with us.

Reading your story you have acomplished more than you think. You have travelled the world which is awesome considering threre lots of people who have never left the UK . You have reached middle age there many out there who never made it to your age. You were a teacher thats awesome you have played a role to educate and inspire the next generation. You played a part in that. You should be proud of yourself.

Tell me what do you really love doing? For me i love politics .oh my god i can talk about it all day. I love shoping and filrting with men. I love sight seeing , visiting musems and drinking a lovely cup of tea. Taking pictures of landmark attractions . To combat your loneillness try finding places that do your hobby . Meet like minded people and keep you busy . Lose yourself in the things you love.
Jaquaia suggestion about andys man club is good idea this help you as well.
What are your dreams . Be as crazy as you want and i promise none of us willl laugh at youb. My dreams are crazy. My dream is to see the northen lights in icleand and take pretty pictures. My dream is canoe in the norweign fijords. I want to see freetown christina an anarchist community in demark.

I dont impose my religious beliefs on people but i do believe God put us on earth for a reason . You are here for a reason .

I love to advise you more but i am not your age and i am a female. So i cant really understand issues men your age face.
I pray for you and i hope everthing works out.

You are amazing man who is lost in a cloud of darkness and confusion and the world would be devasted if something were to happen to him. That amazing man is worth finding . You deserve happiness , you deserve love. I hope one day you find a woman of your dreams.
Sucide is the biggest killer of men.
Men are our Fathers, brothers, sons , husbands . We must look out for them. Men must look out for us women. We all need to look out for each other.
I love you and good night
Andrea from London

On the mental health side of things you need to be more vocal with gps telling them this treatment does not work etc. Jaquaia suggestions are great.