I've always done appointments on my own because I can be more honest if A isn't there as I don't want to freak him out with where my head is at. Also I need him to take another day off later this week to help sort my daughter's future plans for September as I have to have my son at the hospital at the same time so he can't take another day off. I will be honest with them, I'm just anxious as to the outcome. The kids futures are so uncertain at the moment that I just can't fall apart right now. I need to keep it together for another while. If they were settled into their courses/jobs etc I feel like I could focus on me a bit but waiting for interviews etc and them looking to me to help coach them thru I just feel under so much pressure to be sharp and focussed and able to think...... i feel like I am none of these things. I wish I was strong and energetic with enthusiasm for life but I'm weak and tired and finding life all too much tbh
