The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Strugglingmum (17-08-19)
77 and counting, less of the "Old" call me "Mike"
Strugglingmum (17-08-19)
I've always done appointments on my own because I can be more honest if A isn't there as I don't want to freak him out with where my head is at. Also I need him to take another day off later this week to help sort my daughter's future plans for September as I have to have my son at the hospital at the same time so he can't take another day off. I will be honest with them, I'm just anxious as to the outcome. The kids futures are so uncertain at the moment that I just can't fall apart right now. I need to keep it together for another while. If they were settled into their courses/jobs etc I feel like I could focus on me a bit but waiting for interviews etc and them looking to me to help coach them thru I just feel under so much pressure to be sharp and focussed and able to think...... i feel like I am none of these things. I wish I was strong and energetic with enthusiasm for life but I'm weak and tired and finding life all too much tbh
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Sweetheart you aren't falling apart. You are poorly. You are far stronger than you think you are. You are so far from weak!
I wish you could be kinder to you right now..
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Strugglingmum (17-08-19)
Sweetheart, there’s always going to be something that stops you getting the help you need. You’re a mum, and a great one, so you're always going to put your kids first but it’s just as important that you get yourself fit and well so that your family can continue to function, together
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.
Strugglingmum (17-08-19)
Annoyingly, as always, Paula is right. She speaks sense and she understands as she's going in for 4 weeks for her pain course... At the end of the day hunni, I hate to be blunt, but if you are so low you are having such dark thoughts then surely it's best you get the help and get stable rather than not and ending up hurting yourself - or worse? I promise you they'd all rather you went and got the help now.
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Strugglingmum (17-08-19)
Thank you both. I hear what you're saying.
Tonight I put the mask on and we took the 2 younger ones out for a meal to celebrate their results. You are both right it's getting harder to fool them all anyway. I really struggled to join in tonight with the chat etc. I guess we'll see what happens on Monday.
Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.
How are you today lovely lady?
Do a little of something that makes you happy every day!
Today has been very flat but A and i have talked more and i have agreed to take whatever help I'm offered and do whatever they say. I'm kind of annoyed that I gave in but I guess its for the best, I don't even know what that means. My head is totally spinning.
Check out my Calandoniacrochet Facebook page.