(Cont...) I’m so hurt and betrayed, it’s brought all the previous pain and trauma back.
I don’t know how to handle things like this. I did nothing to provoke them? I’m confused.
I merely ended a toxic friendship and once again it blew up into just this disgusting tirade.
I was left shaking and crying after that happened.
I’m in such a dark place all over again, and have been crying on and off ever since and have had several panic attacks.
Hate is a strong word but I truly hate her and him after this.

Sorry this is so long.
I needed to get this off my chest.
No matter where I go, there are nasty people it seems. Most people I meet end up being unpleasant.
Maybe it is me? Maybe I am bad but can’t see it? I don’t know.
I don’t want to be here anymore but I have children. I can’t leave them, I couldn’t do that to them. But I’m so miserable and feel so alone. I feel like I’m falling back down to rock bottom all over again ��
It’s taken me years to get over the last one, and I’m still not over that. I’ve cut contact of course, but the pain remains.
Sorry if this is all muddled. My head is all over the place.
I’ve been so hurt, so angry to the point I just want to punch them all one or hurt myself, but I’m not a violent person so this terrifies me. All therapists have given up on me and there aren’t many where I live who can offer me what I need.
I tried to even write her a letter about it all with literal information and evidence, but she just took no responsibility for her actions and said “sorry you FELT that I’ve...blah blah.” That isn’t an apology.
She proceeded to tell me that it was half my fault those people hurt me and I was “equally to blame” because apparently “I went looking for it”?!?!? It happened out of the blue! It took me by complete shock! And then proceeded to refer to my information as “just quotes” and proceeded to chuck bible quotes at me shoving her new religion down my throat again! I replied and asked how dare she say that, I corrected her and then told her our friendship is over for good, and blocked her. I’m stunned and so hurt; I thought she’d at least try to listen and understand - the old her probably would have! How dare she blame me for my own bullying and ostracism?!
It’s really really hurt me as I find it hard to make friends anyway due to my high social anxiety (to do with autism).
I’m hurt and angry. I want to hurt them like they have me. I can’t see people the same way anymore; it’s ruined my life in so many ways. I’m scared and so alone, I don’t want to be here.
Sorry for rambling...
Please don’t leave rude or nasty replies.
Thank you for reading.
X