I'm overwhelmed by a lot of mixed feelings. Now my private plans depend on my mom's condition, because I know that she will omit some things etc in case she feels worse.
On a good note, she is not against the idea of my holiday or city break somewhere in Europe. However, I haven't even booked my flight so far, everything was postponed nearly up to the end because of her fragile condition.

I hope she will be ok and then I can finally head to London for a city break.
Sometimes I'm just generally feeling lost and willing to stay close indoors as I'm far from ideal etc. Also there is a risk of small panic attacks.

But I've always enjoyed the idea of travelling and being naturally curious about seeing new places.

The idea of megapolis scares me to a certain extent. But I'm mostly scared about some technologies. When I was abroad several years ago, I got used to it. Back home, everything became the same: cash instead of contactless, old transport paying system. Because only 20 % use it. No problem for me, just not my ordinary way of life, so afraid of getting lost into the world of technologies and innovations.