Mira please don't leave DWD, leaving DWD won't make you suddenly start having phone calls it'll just isolate you more.
You keep saying you're messed up, that applies to us all to some degree, I've had periods when I've totally isolated myself from everyone and at times I've hardly left the house because I've been so scared to go outside, now I do go out for lunches with my sis as well as lunches out alone, once a week I go to a local over 60's lunch club and I also play bridge once a week, so things can change, but isolating yourself is not the answer.
You come across as a really intelligent guy, with a nice caring attitude.
Interacting with people face to face maybe better than chatting online, but chatting on places like this forum is far more beneficial than isolating yourself.
Edit: Just spotted this post by Paula so thought I'd reply.
For many years I only used to only see my sister once a year before Christmas, because I'd isolated myself so much, what good did that do, nothing it just made me more lonely than ever, fortunately she didn't give up on me and we've ended up having our regular Tuesday lunches