If you want to be a better person, then just be a better you. Already, you are much better than you were at the beginning of the year. You are opening up here, before you would have just gone silent. That's HUGE!! It's incredibly difficult to open up. (I'm still learning that no-one else knows what's going on in my mind unless I tell them!)
Keep posting, because you really aren't a bother. You are part of our family here and we love and worry when you are quiet.