Hi and welcome. I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much. What support do you have around you? When was the last time you saw your doctor?
I’ve struggled with depression since I was 16. I’m now 45 so for the best part of 30 years. I thought I’d tried everything without success until a few years ago my psychiatrist told me there was always a way through - it just sometimes took a bit of trial and error to get there. I’m now on a combination of drugs which, mostly, enable me to live my life. I’m not cured but am treated well enough that I have a life. Have you seen a psychiatrist? What meds/combination of meds have you tried?