One thing when i read something like this is that i feel relief. That I am not alone or a freak. But it does make life so hard. And then my depression amplifies it at times.

Today i went for a meal at my brothers. My mum was there as well. I felt out of place the whole time. And then my brother said that next friday he wants to eat at mums with his new girlfriend. And if i liked to come.

I said no. I am already fragile and i would ruin the evening for everybody. I am happy they know about my troubles so they were cool about it. Plus they are eating something that makes me sick (really). So i said that and that i dont want to eat something different.

So i am not going. I will meet her eventualy. But hopefully when i am a bit better. I dont want the first impression to be the mentaly ill brother.