this morning I have been doing my usual of busy busy busy to try and stop my head getting the chance to take over. in the midst of the frantic ' find something to do' I managed to do a job I have been putting off for a year but I know it will help now that I've done it.
Today I packed up the baby toys and put them back in the attic. I cried over every single one of them. The memories, the silly games and the cuddle times with the books. Its been over a year since they were played with and I knew it was time to accept that he wasn't coming back. My heart is so sore but I think the release of it all will help. Better to have been Nana for a little while than never been Nana at all. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

Anyway, cant move forward if there is too much dragging you back. having the toys out of sight will definitely help a bit. I'm trying to fill the space with something positive like my yarn stack. I think I've cried more today than I have in a year. Feeling fragile but yet a little bit stronger.