Hey hunni! I'm so sorry about your psychologist being off - especially with the rubbish worker you have too.
Right, I'm going to be blunt.
When Marc had his first breakdown I was terrified. I had no idea what was wrong with him and though that he was trying to tell me he didn't want to be with me/didn't want our 3rd one/hated living with me and our other 2/had found someone else etc etc etc When I finally broke down and actually talked to him and he talked back it really was so much easier for both of us to deal with - there were 2 of us, on the same page and fighting this beast together.
I asked him one night if he still loved me and asked him to be honest. He explained to me that he had loved me before getting poorly and that he didn't know why that would have changed but that at that moment he didn't know if he loved anyone or anything. It was the hardest thing I had heard, but I told him that it was OK because I loved him enough for both of us and that we'd get through it together.
Since then we fight his mental health and my physical health together. It really is much better and easier for both of us. I tell him when I'm struggling and having a low spoon day and he tells me when he's having a hard day. But we do it together.
What I'm trying to say is talk to A. Whatever you tell him isn't as bad as what he's thinking and at least you can fight it together. Fighting it alone and keeping everything from the man you love is so exhausting.
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