Thanks CaterpillarGirl, I try not to make jokes or be sarcastic anymore as it doesn't always seem to work and backfires regularly. I'm also trying to stop overthinking every little detail or every situtaion. I must try and think before speaking as well as not everyone likes the truth and having someone being direct (in a non agressive way, I tend to say it like it is and I don't do it on purpose). So hard just to live these days and once I push someone away, they don't seem to come back. I even remember telling someone that I'm sorry that I'll end up pushing them away without meaning to, they said they wouldn't let it happen but it still did.