I'm gonna be workin non stop startin Sunday but I feel so overwhelmed. My depression is all consuming, it follows my every waking move. Last night I had a panic attack, tossing & turnin in the dark, feeling completely hopeless ..

I also got told off after my induction class today. I made a stupid remark about feeling "half asleep in class" & she said she was concerned that I didn't participate as well as others throughout the week. I'm just not a chatty person like that & I have crippling depression to deal with.

The service I'll be workin at is all male staff which I'm not happy about. I feel more comfortable around women tbh, I'm just not the typical lad type. Anyway they told me to see how I feel after my 1st week then ring them back. Its so awkward as the rotas are already in place but I felt its best to tell them now. Ive had 1 shadow shift there already. I wish I could shake this despair as I'm gonna be so busy ..