Thanks for checking in on me. I'm a whole lot better today than I was. Talking helps. I've decided I need to take some practical steps to get out as well, so I've got a few options to consider now. But there is this unexplained deep, deep painful feeling of loneliness that engulfs me at times. I cry and it hurts because I can't breathe. It's not a panic attack, it's just that the depth of crying makes me feel sick. It's part of what wrecked my marriage as it's probably quite disturbing to watch and made it hard to handle. The phrase 'lonely even amongst people I know' applies to me at times.