I’m ok. I’m trying to stay strong. But the not knowing is driving me crazy. I have been focusing on myself all week and have done a few things around the house. I got my hair done yesterday but I have pretty bad anxiety today. I know I shouldn’t contact him but part of me knows he is too stubborn and proud to get in touch too. But if he still having a downer then it will be because he doesn’t feel good enough for me and that I’m just going to leave like everyone else. My patience is very very low now. As he knows he can talk to me and I know it isn’t that easy but he could just say whether he wanted to break up or not. He’s not clarified that. Space is fine as I know he needs it. Im just a little tired of being supportive now. I feel better than I did a few days ago but today I’m just feeling as though he doesn’t care. And like we’ve discussed it may be because he doesn’t feel anything. I’m keeping busy again today and I have plans for the weekend. Itlll be the evenings that are worst as I get no sleep due to being so anxious when I stop and come Monday I have no plans so I’ll feel worse.....I e applied to study for my PGCE. A bit late in life but I hate my current job and have always loved working with children so fingers crossed I get in but that won’t start for some time anyway. I can’t make him get in touch and I do think he needs to make the first move otherwise I am chasing him and during our relationship I have always supported him so if he doesn’t know that now I’m not sure what else I can say anyway......

Sorry for the rant. I spent most of the night playing over different scenarios in my head if he got in touch and we did actually talk and I know what I will say to him but he just needs to make that move.....the sun is out today so I am hoping he goes for a ride with his friend and chats to him a little and maybe see sense. I’m just so sad