Currently suicidal. triggering pls be careful

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Hi legodeercat and welcome to DWD. Epic username btw. So many of us have been where you are and yet somehow we’re still here. I don’t thing you want to die, you just wanna stop feeling the way you do. Hey if there is an after life what’s to say that torment doesn’t follow you and no one wants that for eternity, right? I know it seems hopeless right now but thaat can change and you are fighting this. I’m not gonna throw a load of cliches you but here you are among folk who understand how this illness messes with your head and how to get through the tough times.