I am in the situation that your husbands are in and it's really hard to know what to say or what not to say on each day to make things better/worse... The only thing that helped me was to talk to people with depression and to bounce ideas and upsets I was experiencing on them - which in turn meant that I could get my husband to open up and talk to me a bit more which is the only thing which has saved our relationship....
We do have separate male/female sections if you wanted to ask them to join here to talk - but needed your own space too....
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