I was talking to J last night as I was sorting my mums meds, I know I know! It's a miracle I haven't bored him yet!!! And I ended up blurting something out, I can't even remember what it was now, I know it was something very self-deprecating. Just after he went to bed I needed to open a seal on her CD drugs so I picked up a knife, and I have to confess that it was like a switch was flicked and I completely detached. I ended up dragging it across my arm and although I was aware, it felt like I was watching someone else do it itms??? I haven't cut myself, I'm too much of a coward to actually do something that involves pain, there's just a faint pink scratch there, I just thought I had got past this stage
