I’m going to be blunt here, sorry. First, your OT is just doing her job. It’s her job to push you to ‘comply’, it’s her job to keep you safe - from this illness and yourself. It’s not her job to be your best friend and she’ll do whatever she can to stop you starving yourself to death. You may not give a jot about her but she gives a jot about you - that is her job ....
Second, as a mother to daughters (one of which is close to your age) I can tell you that she isn’t ‘nagging’ you to drink, she’s doing everything in her power to save her baby’s life. I can tell you that her heart is breaking right now, that she would much rather alienate you than watch you die while feeling completely helpless to stop it. I promise you that a little part of her dies every time you don’t drink, every time she sees the numbers on those scales go down, every time someone tells her you’re close to death. And your dad isn’t intentionally putting more pressure on your mum. He’s doing what 99.9% of men do when things get tough - they provide. It may not necessarily be the right course of action but it’s what they do
Third, I get it. I’ve battled my MH problems for 3 decades and I’m tired. But that doesn’t stop me fighting. Neither should you stop fighting. There is a life apart from mental illness, there is more to life than this - that I can promise - but You’re the only one who can make that happen. And you should make it happen - you’re a bright, warm, funny, big hearted woman and I know you’re going to have so much joy in your life. You’re allowed to have days where you’re feeling sorry for yourself but then you have to dry those tears, pick yourself up and keep fighting.
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