Yeah, as positive as ever me Suzi! Ah yeah, my mam is an angel. I would honestly be lost without her!

I had a big wake up call today. Met with ED services at the clinic. I lost quite a lot of weight in a short space of time and my BMI shows 'severe anorexia' at 13. My bloods showed abnormalities, too. The neutrophils were low (basically, my immune system is down and if I got an infection, my body would struggle to recover.) People can be admitted to hospital if the levels go below 1 due to the risk of infection and my levels were at 1.1. Close call. Jammy as ever.

Anyways! They've referred me to hospital BUT as I, my parents and my care co-coordinator ALL think hospital would be the worst option for me (unless obviously things were desperate), they have given me one last chance to comply at home. Starting today, I have to drink three supplement drinks. I've asked my parents to watch me drink them to ensure I don't 'feed' the sink with them!! I'm going back to the clinic on Friday. To avoid hospital admission from there, I need to ensure I comply these next three days, that my weight doesn't drop and that my bloods don't deteriorate! So hopefully, like a cat with nine lives, I have avoided hospital!!

The ED services said if I do get admitted, they would support the idea of me orally taking on the calories by eating and drinking supplement drinks to avoid NG tube feeding, so if worst does come to worst and I am admitted... I'm not so terrified about it because there's a way I can avoid that horrible tube again!

On a lighter note, I had a good appointment with my care co-coordinator today. She's great. She told me to reward myself every time I drink one of these drinks by doing something I enjoy doing. This makes it not feel like I'm only doing it for the ED services to back off but that I'm doing it to be able to do more in my life! She's meeting me next week and taking me to Costa for a coffee as a 'reward'.

Think the medication is starting to kick in, too. I'm getting pleasure out of doing things for the first time in a long time! I'm particularly enjoying painting flower pots for Christmas gifts!

I love my job at Millie's Cookies! I honestly think it's the perfect job for me! My local stall is really quiet and my manager said as long as all the work is done and it's clean, he's happy for me to bring in a book or magazine and even go on my phone haha! What kind of job is that? Love it. He said in October, he'd be able to give me full time hours between my local stall and a shop in the city centre which is busier and where more people work. So there's chance of me meeting others, too. This is something really worth guzzling down those drinks for!

The eco therapy project is a bit of a trek to get to unfortunately but it's not impossible! Turns out the buses change with the school holidays!! The project co-coordinator is back from annual leave in a few weeks so I can join them again then! By then, I should be a little physically healthier too.

Therapy appointment then tomorrow with my lovely therapist who I haven't seen in five weeks!! Due a session!

Onwards and upwards, now.