Thanks for sharing the link, Paula. I know that sectioning is definitely a last resort. I feel less anxious about it today because I've been left to my own devices. I know I will feel more wound up tomorrow when I have to meet with the ED services. I guess I'm just afraid of having all control taken away from me. I'm afraid of the ED services because they have the authority to section people.

The reason for hospital admission would be for tube feeding, but surely if it did come to that and I said I would drink the calories with supplement drinks (I could not eat that amount of calories. That would overwhelm me totally) then they wouldn't tube feed me. Surely the doctors would only tube feed someone who was refusing to take in calories by any other means. Obviously to avoid tube feeding, I would have to comply with the drinks which I am sure I would!

I feel I really need to talk to the nurse who runs this gastric ward about this. I will also ask the GP on Friday when I increase my medication. I need to know where I stand. I don't trust these ED services.

There are options to explore before hospitalisation, too. I could be a day patient somewhere or ask the ED services and CMHT to provide meal support not to support me with eating but to make sure I actually eat. Not a route I want to go down but better than a tube all the same.

I've said I've started on the supplement drinks again. Chucked it down the sink this morning and I know I will do the same tomorrow. If lying will prolong admission, then I will simply have to lie.

Also the sertraline is making it hard to eat. I feel nauseous to the point of wanting to vomit. Last week I was so full of energy but the last few days (and even more so today) I feel totally drugged and sedated. All I want to do is sleep. In a way, it's a real comfort because sleep can be an escape but excessive sleeping as an escape was a long-time symptom I thought I had overcome.

Job interview tomorrow though just for a few hours on the weekends part time. The gardening project have also arranged for me to go there and meet them. Going to call to check availability for the reflexology course just now, too. So hopefully having little things in my life will help me and I really hope these pills work too.