It hurts me knowin she's in so much pain Mike, she's lost so much weight as well. Her Lupus really complicates her immune system making her look yellow-ish when she's ill. Apparently someone with Lupus is 70% more likely to get it. As soon as I saw her in the ward I left the room immediately in tears. She then came out to tell me not to worry.
It's too much for me along with this deep depression. My auntie really laid into me beforehand calling me lazy & selfish because I was too scared to visit her. She doesn't understand why I struggle in life, no one does even.. I've also seen my mum on deaths door when I was younger. She's the only friend I have in this terribly lonely existence ..