I'm just trapped.. I hate to sound so pessimistic but I'm in a serious negative mindset & I feel powerless to break free. I'm so use to feeling miserable & depressed that I don't know anythin different. I can put on a joyful 'front' at work but that just masks my inner turmoil. I have deep insecurities.. It must be hard for u guys on here tryin to help people like me that are well.. helpless. And Suzi 3.30am is nothin to me, I'm up till 7!