I've had panic attack and experienced a bad anxiety mood. When I'm facing these moods, I'm feeling desperate and just want to vanish from this earth.

I'm trying to find job, but here is difficult to find free-lance job, so it's basically the office option or nearly. I'm feeling awfully because I don't want to live on my family' s money ( like the last three months).

I hate everything around me ( not exactly about people, just this atmosphere around). It's so difficult, I want to move on but before taking this step I should earn some more money.

Another thing - it's probably stupid what I'm gonna say, I know I have PCOS and I'm overweight. My things have however got better, and probably because I'm alone I just want to make some friendships. I know I'll be laughed by these men, but want to try.

Ok, but what normal man would want a rather young woman with 38 inches waist?

I could hide some embarassing moments, but he will see it. Apparently people say that my face is pretty and I have nice eyes. And my legs are rather normal. I could register on dating site, ok I'm ready for being rejected, but if not he will anyway see what I am and? Or should I wait before I lose more weight? But I've been exercising this year and being on a diet, and my doc says that the process of slimming is slowly and could take an unknown period of time because of hormonal level and thyroid. What would you advise me to do in this case?

I'm registered on some pcos online groups and I've come across a photo of a woman who is young and extremely overweight in comparison with me and, my God, she dates a man, and not bad-looking. My first thought was:' he is probably insane or wants something from her'. Ok, but maybe I also have a chance. My God, what to do?

I apologise for writing a lot of my interior disaster, but I cannot hide this into me anymore.