Jokes and one liners

[sidiam]

CHRISTMAS FRUIT CAKE RECIPE

Ingredients:
1 Cup water
2 Cups dried fruit
1 Tablespoon salt
1 Cup sugar
4 Large eggs
Lemon juice
1 tsp. baking soda
8 oz Nuts
8 oz Butter
1 Bottle Whiskey

Method:
Sample the whiskey to check for quality

Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup and drink.
Repeat

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 2 oz. butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one tsp. of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixterer. Break two bowls and add to the eggs and chuck in the dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey again to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift to sups of calt or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table spoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

Next day, take 3 aspirins -and go to Marks and Spencer. Buy Christmas cake.

Sxx