I worry he hurts himself at work. I worry he'll choose the bottle over this family again. I worry I have to once again pick up my self and try to learn how to live my life alone. I have made him a priority in my life, right after my Kids. And I feel I am just an option, when it comes to drinking. It hurts. And even if he sees me and boys as a priority, he still seems to choose the bottle over us. Not often, and definitely not like I have heard it happening in many other relationships. But when it happens, it feels like the ultimate betrayal. And worst thing in this is, your enemies and People that wish you harm can not betray you. Betrayal always comes from the ones we love and trust. And it is one of the worst pains I have ever experienced. And look at me, once again whining about something like this. Over thinking and over analyzing. I am breaking my own heart by thinking too much.