Hi and welcome. I'm sorry about your mum The first thing you need to do is go and speak to your GP. They can refer you on to talking therapies which may help. There are also things they can give you for the anxiety. I'm on propranolol. It helps reduce the physical symptoms which makes the anxiety a lot easier to deal with. It's actually a beta-blocker so nothing like an antidepressant. It may be worth discussing an option like that? A lot of us also use things like meditation, grounding techniques and distractions, it's a case of finding what works for you. There are lots of resources on the forum