I don't think any of what he said was nasty, rude yes! But nasty? Yes, there is no excuse for being rude but when we feel so overwhelmed we need love and understanding, and even leaving alone! They sound more like the words of a man who is hurting and reached a breaking point.
You had no need to keep checking up on him in such a short space of time. I will guarantee that he got so drunk because it helped him pretend he was ok and have a normal night out with his friends and then you started texting him and calling him reminding him that he's ill. Yes, after he complained about you not replying to his messages, he should have replied to you, but if he was having a good night and then saw the messages, it's possible they brought his mood down. We don't want constantly reminding that we're ill. We want to be able to have days where we pretend everything is normal! We want days where we can just be us without feeling smothered by people checking that we're dealing with our illness ok that day! We are more than our mental illness. I bet his friends let him to forget
You ask how he can tell you he doesn't want you to care anymore and call that hurtful? Well I ask you how can that be one of your main focuses when he has told you that he feels numb and empty? I know Suzi will relate to this one from her experiences with Marc. Feeling numb is awful. You know you love people but you don't feel it. You feel nothing, it's not sadness, or irritation, or anger, but just nothing.
Have you ever thought he left you crying because it made him feel even worse then he already did? Have you thought that if you'd simply said that you'd got up to check why the dog was barking then everything could have been avoided? Why did you need to challenge him there and then about not replying to you? You knew he was drunk, you know he's been getting angry for no reason as he's been honest about you with it. What did it really achieve?
If you want things to work out then you need to let go of this preoccupation with how his illness is making you feel. He is ill, but he is trying. He proves that when he is honest with you about how he is struggling. the bit that i find hardest to deal with is you know that your thinking is skewed, you know it's irrational but you can't control it. Trust me when I say that he will feel awful about upsetting you but you really need to try and see that he is ill. I don't think you truly understand that. And all I can say to that is talk and listen. Talk to people who are ill, see how they cope. Talk to people who support those who are ill, see how they deal with it. But above all, hear what they're saying. You're listening but you're not hearing.
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