Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[Paula]

When I was growing up, particularly during my teen years, my dad had to say to me on a regular basis - it’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it. As I’ve grown up, I’ve tried to remember that as I interact with everyone in my life. It’s not easy for me and I’ve failed far too many times, because my natural instinct is to say exactly how I feel, but I’m grateful to him for teaching me that. Online, it should in theory be easier as I’ve got the opportunity to look at what I’m saying before I post (though even then I do get it wrong sometimes) and I try to consider how I’d feel if someone had said that to me.

I’m sure you don’t mean to upset or anger people but, looking at all the comments that have been posted over the last few days, it’s clear that many members are seeing what you say very differently to what you mean them to see. Perhaps, then, taking some time to look over your comments before posting, and more closely consider the impact they could have on other members, could mean they’d be misinterpreted less often?

[Mira]

Trying to be a better person is something commendable. And so worth striving for. It is understandable that yesterday may not have been the best day you could have. It would throw off a lot of us. And rejection stings. If its just or not. This is something we all understand. We all have had rejection and failures in our lives. Some we can not change and some that might be our own fault. But the one thing we all can control is how we react to this. And making comments to people that try to help is not helpful.

Speaking your mind is good. And you should always do that. But there are polite ways of doing it without getting these kind of reactions.

[SA89]

hey I attended a meetup group yesterday with 7 strangers at a marketplace bar. It featured an open mic night were musicians would get up & perform 1 after another. I was really chatty despite not knowing the group & they seemed to be very welcoming. The lady who runs it is a mental health worker & the assistant is a police woman. I stayed from 7-15pm-11.5pm then walked it home from town in the dark as I missed the last bus. 1 guy even opened up to me about his own anxiety & depression & I shared my story with him. This group meets up regularly & I've put my name down for each outing, next 1 is a comedy night I believe.

I know I should take more responsibility so hopefully this helps me to socialise. I emailed HR from the training I did recently & they said I need to do my 2 shadow shifts before the next refresher course. I'm worried though caus it's a very challenging environment to work in & I'm not an independant person at all. I can't even use a washing machine so how am I going to support people with autism? . I have some brief experience with autism but not in a facility like this. And once again I'm sorry for offending anyone. I was really hurt after those 3 job rejections & it's discouraged me from ever finding a career. I should have also been more clear because typing is not always easy to convey .

[Paula]

That group sounds awesome! Well done for going and for signing up for more get together

[Suzi]

That group sounds fab!

[SA89]

Had kind of a social breakthrough on Saturday by drinking with my brother & some girls on the estate. I walked shop with them & then drank vodka outside their house. It was something I'd thought I'd never do as it's a rough area were I live. Then a car pulled up & some guy came walking down wielding 2 machetes!. He had both his young daughters with him & he punched the car window caus his girlfriend was sitting in the back. He threatened the driver before walking off as he assumed she was cheating with him. His 6 year old kids were crying their eyes out.

Thank goodness his girlfriend didn't try it on with me as she was being flirty all night. After that I went to my aunts & chilled in her garden shed with some lads. 1 of which had been in prison for theft & assault. I had a bloody mary then came home with a fiver missing & he was sat right next to me. He's stole a phone from me in the past apparently. He seemed friendly with me as well. It's only a fiver so I'm not gonna report it & risk my life in the process but I still feel violated. He even said "You gotta kill or be killed" when discussing knife crime. So all in all an unusually sociable night for me. At least it got me out of the house right? lol ..

[Mira]

Hey,

Yes great you got out and that you had a breakthrough. But is this the sort of social things you would like to do? I find it hard to believe any good can come from that.

[Paula]

I don’t quite know what to say about all that except, there’s no way in hell I’d have stayed in that environment for more than a millisecond. That’s not healthy socialising, love

[Suzi]

Erm.... I'm not sure where to start with that.... Sitting outside drinking vodka isn't going to help as you know that alcohol is a depressant.. Hanging around with people who think carrying knives is OK let alone with small children around is, quite frankly, a disaster waiting to happen..
Also why were you drinking bloody mary's in a shed "with some lads"?

[SA89]

Hey, Yes great you got out and that you had a breakthrough. But is this the sort of social things you would like to do? I find it hard to believe any good can come from that.

I've never mixed before with these people as they're completely different to me but I just needed to get out as the weather was nice.

I don’t quite know what to say about all that except, there’s no way in hell I’d have stayed in that environment for more than a millisecond. That’s not healthy socialising, love

I know but there's not many options in my area in regards to decent people. It's a rough area in Bolton so most of the people here are heads, potheads or on crack. That's exactly why I don't socialise but this was a one off.

Erm.... I'm not sure where to start with that.... Sitting outside drinking vodka isn't going to help as you know that alcohol is a depressant.. Hanging around with people who think carrying knives is OK let alone with small children around is, quite frankly, a disaster waiting to happen..
Also why were you drinking bloody mary's in a shed "with some lads"?

I'm not even a drinker & haven't had alcohol in a year, except for the half lager last week & the vodka on saturday. I weren't hanging around with the guy with the machetes, he came on the street & started kicking off which was my cue to leave. The shed is more of a mini garden house which looks really nice.

My aunt invited me round to have a look at the lights around the garden. Her fella's constructed it all for her & he's very chilled. There just happened to be a few lads around, 1 of which had been in the local paper for theft & assualt. I tried a bit of bloody mary which was revolting then left about 1.20am with a fiver missing .