Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[SA89]

Yeah my mum knows caus she can see how visibly anxious & depressed I am on a daily basis. She keeps tellin me I shouldn't be suffering when there's meds in front of me. She also knows about my intense crying episodes .

I know there's more ADs to the ones I've tried but I wouldn't like to go against my doctors advice. He prescribes Citalopram, Fluxotine, Sertraline & Mirtazipine & thats it.

I wouldn't like to take the risk on my physical health with the others. I'm considerin goin back on Citalopram. I know I've been round in circles with these pills & they haven't done for my depression but they at least relieve the anxiety.

[Paula]

What risks to your physical health do you specifically mean? I’m surprised your doctor is so limited with what they can prescribe. Amitryptaline, for instance, is also used for many physical/neurological disorders, as well as an AD, so is widely prescribed by GPs ........

[Suzi]

I think that if your GP is only prepared to prescribe those then you should be pushing for a referral to someone else who can prescribe alternatives. Also I think you should take your Mum with you to your appointments...

[SA89]

I don't want drugs in my body full stop but I'm sufferin really badly. I can't justify resorting to these fatigue inducing pills when I haven't even explored natural solutions.

Right now I'm on a detox from caffeine & I've noticed my anxiety drop in intensity. Its still there but the extreme physical symptoms seem a bit more manageable. I need to get out of my room, meditate, socialise & maintain a healthy diet. Easier said than done but I need to at least explore these options that are open to me. I've been crying a lot but being in my room festers that loneliness ..

[Paula]

Yes you need to do all of those things, whether you’re taking meds or not, they’re important. (Nb, not all ADs cause fatigue )

[Suzi]

I completely agree with Paula. Not all meds are like that - how many have you tried?

[SA89]

Think I'm about ready to cease existing. I've ed up a social care job that I enjoy doing. I'm on the brink of being sacked after 2 shifts because of performance issues & because I don't have a full uniform. I quit my last role prior after 8 shifts as well. I can't do anythin right I'm a waste of space.

I may as well just die now because unconsciousness is the only relief I get from this miserable in existence. Never had a girlfriend, never had a sustainable job, depression, anxiety, anhedonia. I'm done ..

[Paula]

What happened, lovely?

[Suzi]

What's happened with the job?
When was it last that you saw your Dr?
There are options and you can get through this...

[SA89]

I was reported because I said I've never used a hoist which is just bein honest. And I was reported caus I put dirty clothes in the skip instead of a red bag even though I was told to put it in the skip by a staff member.

And now because I dont have a uniform available. I did ok considerin I was put in a challenging environment without experience but theyre gonna sack me. They knew I had no personal care experience yet they thrust me into a highly challenging environment instead of easing me in. A lot of the time I was on my own as well & I didn't shy away from any duty. I don't know whether to jump before being pushed.

They're callin me in next week so its obvious they're gonna pull the trigger which is unjustified due to some invalid complaints. I enjoy being a support worker & now its been taken away from me again. I saw my doctor last week who agreed that I may be anhedonic as I can't "feel" joy or laughter. A life without that is barely a in existence so why should I even live ..