I understand that you feel you're in a unique position. But I can say that,when I was in my first, 'challenging' marriage, I couldn't let anyone in and I've never been so lonely as I was then. I went to work, I came home. I pushed my friends away and wasn't loved in my marriage. Normal doesn't exist and most of us have felt emotions such as loneliness, bitterness, lack of hope at some point or another in our lives - maybe not in the exact way you have for some of us (though for others in a very similar way). What I'm trying to say is, it's not what is thrown at us that defines us, it's what we do with it. You have a choice to accept this, or change. And I really believe you have the strength to change your life completely.
