I'm in serious mental distress right now, I've been crying all day uncontrollably. I even broke down in front of my mum as soon as she asked me "how are u, are u ok?". Completely set me off again. Basically, the b******* at Universal Credit have informed that I won't be getting paid for the foreseeable future because I have sanctions pending.
A week ago they told me I had 18 days left & now they've told me I've got another 1 lasting 500+ days immediately after. I've been attending consistently over the last few months & I thought I was finally at the end of my sanction. As soon as I put the phone down I was engulfed in a sea of despair. The world seems completely bleak & I fear for my future. I can't pay my mum & I have a holiday upcoming.
I'm constantly living in a state of perpetual fear & living with a psychotic brother only fuels my anxiety. Last week he smashed the house up, threatened my mum & was goading me to come out of my room with these sinister words "Get him out of his room, tell him I've got a knife waiting for him..".
My anxiety that night was an indescribable fear. I feared for my mum downstairs, I feared for someone getting hurt. I'm back on Setraline but at a lower 50mg to start. Today was the 1st pill I swallowed in months since going cold turkey. I have no choice. My mental wellbeing is not right at all. I attended a voluntary information day as well & have started a health & social course so yeah that's my update. I want to disappear
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