Anxiety & Depression Hell..*TRIGGERS*

[SA89]

It does sound like you might need to get some kind of medical help alongside making some changes in your life. Maybe therapy? Meds are always an option, but if you were anxious at such a young age then you probably need some very in depth therapeutic work. Are these new friends people you will see again do you think?

About the holiday.. If it could be a positive time for you then it is worth fighting through the anxiety to the good time on the other side. I find anxiety is always worse before doing something and once you get started it usually reduces or goes away completely. However if it is not something you actually want, then why put yourself through it when you can just cancel.

On Friday I had that exact same anxiety but I got up, had a shower & got myself down to the pub and I ended up chattin to a few people there. Some even shared their experiences with anxiety & I sat down with someone who told me deep stuff about being abused. It was reassuring to see that I'm not the only 1 with struggles & it shows that even in the midst of mental turmoil we can take action to alleviate it.

On Saturday I actually felt ok because I had that social contact the night before. Today however has been the same torture all over again with my anxiety . I've noticed my depression is twice as worse the moment I wake up, anyone else feel like that?. Its the most awful despair imaginable. It either improves as the day progresses or stays as bad as when first waking. I'm seein a counsellor for CBT & in regards to those friends they're more my mums friends & they're always busy.

Are you sure that you shouldn't go back to the Dr and tell them how you are feeling? I know you said you don't want to take the meds, but there might be one which suits you better and actually does help your depression?....

They helped my anxiety but they didn't really help my depression because they make you more tired which in turn makes you even more un-motivated. At least now I have the motivation because I'm far less tired. The catch is that my anxiety is far worse so its a double edged sword. I'd take being less tired though anyday because I don't feel constricted by those side effects.

Ruminating in my room all day is what's festering my negative thoughts & that triggers the anxiety into a vicious spiral. I've had Mitazipine in my draw for a while now but I refuse to take it because I've tried all 4 AD types countless times. My doctor won't give me any other options because he's restricted. As soon as I stopped I had a lease of life. It's such a relief to have my energy levels uncompromised by drugs. I need someone to give me a break now in voluntary or whatever to give me a routine. That's frustrating me atm ..

Oh hunni . I've always said that, rubbish as it is, I can manage depression but anxiety, on the other hand, completely screws up my life. I do wish you would go back to see your GP ......

I saw my GP recently, he can't do anymore more than offer me the 4 main ADs which I've had 1000 times over. I'm having a blood test anyway this week so that should shed some light (or darkness ..). I think your right about depression being more manageable. They're both equally awful but anxiety is destructive both physically & mentally. Depression feeds into that anxiety because it circulates those negative thoughts. By the way did you mention somethin about Turkey before or was it someone else?. I'm going there in a few weeks & I'm very anxious about it..