Exactly, it's amazing how much a front people put on when the reality is so different. But I think with "normal" mentally functioning people they're able to deal with that reality better. People who don't suffer with their mental health operate on a balanced emotional frequency which they've sustained through resilience. It's so easy to fall below that balance but they have the mental tools to sustain their wellbeing. That's why sadness to most people can be managed wereas we'd fall into despair. I wish I knew the answer to restore that balance. What I'd give to simply feel "normal" and experience joy and excitement. Even when I see people laughing I'm envious because I'm incapable of "feeling"..
That's true & inspiring. I've always stood but for the opposite reasons due to my awkwardness and timid quirks. Simply being independent would be an achievement for me as I've never had that. I always think "I can't live life until I have a job". That mindset makes me put off socializing. A job isn't just about the money for me, it's more about the sense of belonging & purpose that I desperately need. I desperately need a routine because I'm not just a recluse, I'm a hermit. That's why I feel like my issues are really unique & complexed because I've been this way my whole life. It's had a profound effect on my mental health as you can imagine. I carry the loneliness like a tight leash around a puppy desperate for freedom. I'm the definition of a star that can't shine
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