Who are my real friends? Do I actually have any who just like me for who I am? Why is it always down to me to stay in touch when my phone only rings when someone wants something? When I make a mistake I have to beg for forgiveness but when it’s the other way around it’s dismissed as me making a big deal out of nothing. If you’ve done something to hurt me it’s not nothing. I have feelings too. You all point out here about my “loyalty” but is that what it is or just plain stupidity cos no one seems to show any kind of commitment to me. I try my best every day to be a better person but where does it get me? My own family don’t even want to know. I’m sick and tired of feeling so damned lonely, it’s like nobody really knows me or even cares. I’m so far down the list of priorities in the lives of people I care about I may as well not be on it at all. Why do I bother when it’s so one sided all the time. If only one person could show me I mean something to them, for someone to care about me the way I do them. I’m so damned confused right now and I have no idea where I stand anymore. All I know is it really hurts to care deeply for other people who would rather I wasn’t around.
