So low. Don't know what to do...

[Suzi]

Alcohol is a depressant. When you are as unstable as your moods have been recently I really think avoiding it is best.

You NEED to contact your out of hours crisis service. As we have said to you previously, if you don't tell them that you are struggling then they won't know and won't be able to help you. You have to do this to help yourself. You are deserving of help and support.

[Paula]

i’m really suffering tonight. I'm so low and have tears streaming down my face, for no reason. I did drink last night, perhaps that has affected me.

I feel useless and barely able to look after myself. I'm not eating, don't want to go out or even look people in the eye.

I hear what you guys are saying.

I've contacted Mind to seek support and some counselling.

If you’re feeling like this, this is EXACTLY when you should be contacting the crisis team! Mind are great, but you need more immediate help than they can give. Plus, HOW ARE YOUR MEDICAL TEAM GOING TO KNOW HOW BAD IT IS UNTIL YOU TELL THEM!!! You say you hear what we’re saying but that’s not the same as listening.

However, huge well done for your courier work

[Mattypompy]

If you’re feeling like this, this is EXACTLY when you should be contacting the crisis team! Mind are great, but you need more immediate help than they can give. Plus, HOW ARE YOUR MEDICAL TEAM GOING TO KNOW HOW BAD IT IS UNTIL YOU TELL THEM!!! You say you hear what we’re saying but that’s not the same as listening.

However, huge well done for your courier work

Hi Ladies.

Just wanted to say a big thank you for the fabulous support you've given, for so long.

I'm still having huge difficulties with the mood in the mornings and can barely get out of bed. Just negative rumination that there's no point in waking or getting up.

The acute anxiety is largely under control, pregablin helped. I'm on about the 4th week of maximum dose of Escitalopram bow.

I did call the local CMHT, they call it ATS here and had a chat with them. A support worker is calling back tomorrow. I've also got a therapy assessment with a local charity on Wednesday, but tye waiting list is really long. As I'm in secondary care I'm unable to access the local NHS talking therapies apparently, I did try.

I've got the assessment for the TMS treatment in 3 weeks
Hopefully I can start that ASAP.

Thanks for the encouragement about the job Paula. I'm still doing it and will look for something better soon.

[Suzi]

So glad that you're still doing the positive the things you need to do - taking the meds, talking to the pro's near you. These are all brilliant.

Keep on talking to those you can lovely, it really does help.

[Mattypompy]

So glad that you're still doing the positive the things you need to do - taking the meds, talking to the pro's near you. These are all brilliant.

Keep on talking to those you can lovely, it really does help.

Thanks so much, again, for the kind encouragement Suzi. Mornings have been really difficult, but I'm trying my best.

I have the 1st TMS treatment on Wednesday.

I'm really sad and upset right now, very down.

It's my 50th birthday on Wednesday. I have 2 sisters, one a good relationship the other a toxic one.

The one I have a good relationship is keen to meet up and we intend to.

The other one who is generally abusive and a bully, I just asked to come.

There's no reason not to. She claims shes going.out drinking tomorrow and won't be fit, although, shes working to meet up. That's a ruse. No one is forcing her to get paralytic.

I made an effort in the freezing cold during covid to be the only one to come out for hers.

I can't believe who selfish she is.

It's really upset me and I have tears now.

[Paula]

Hunni, I hate to say this, but did you expect any different? Why did you feel you had to invite her - imho there’s lots of reasons not to?

[Suzi]

I agree with Paula. This is just another way that she is controlling you. She knew it would upset you and so that's the option she has taken...
Hunni, if you post more when you ae going through things you might help to not feeling as bad as you are itms?

[Mattypompy]

I agree with Paula. This is just another way that she is controlling you. She knew it would upset you and so that's the option she has taken...
Hunni, if you post more when you ae going through things you might help to not feeling as bad as you are itms?

Hi Suzi and Paula,

Firstly, Happy New Year and I hope you are both well and healthy.

Of course you are right about her motivation for notwanting to meet up with me on my birthday. In the end it worked out well, I met my other sister in a posh pub in Brighton. Shared a bottle of wine and I had a few ciders.

Had a few reminisces and laughs.

I stayed at my older sisters for a few days after Christmas, which was fun. Then met up with the problematic sister in the same pub. Things were proceeding fine and then the others returned home and the controling sister asked me to stay for another drink.

She was very intoxicated and started being abusive, after assuring me she wouldn't, so I moved tables. She tried to continue and started talking nonsense, so I left. She then started WhatsApping abuse, so I blocked her for a few days.

After I unblocked her, she had blocked me! Utterly bizarre, an attempt at using the silent treatment for control. She is responding to emails though. It's like she's an adolescent school girl, but 52!

On a side note I've started rTMS treatment. Had 12 treatments in the last month, 13th tomorrow. It's alll quite strange but I've had some positive, fluctuating, results. A work in progress. .

[Suzi]

I'm glad you had some good times over Christmas. Hunni, I wonder why you keep on meeting up/spending time with her when you know what's going to happen. I know it's hard to deal with this, but sometimes it's better to cut ties and move on....
How many times a week are you meant to be having? Are you doing it at home or going to a clinic?

[Paula]

Sometime, when you’ve gone through the whole process, as talking about it as you're doing it might be a touch stressful for some, it would be great if you could perhaps write something explaining what the treatment involves and what it achieves for other members?