Hey Paula.

Thanks for the input. Wow that spiral of shame diagram absolutely encapsulates a lot of my cyclical depressive thinking pattern. So true the steps involved, like a champagne waterfall. I've had that kind of self talk for years. It definitely entrenches low self esteem. Negative selection of events and experiences then ruminate on.

You're correct about the vicious circle of social withdrawal when low, it is a self enforcing cycle but, as you said, a classic depressive behavioural response.

Denying one's emotions, good, bad or indifferent is expunged the essence of our humanity. I've always been very sensitive since a boy, my mother was too. It can be a burden to bear. Society also has toxic masculinity for men thinking we're robots or just cannot show vulnerability. Again, that's denying the truth of one's humanity and in my opinion shows strength.

Tough day again today. Had a mood breakdown this evening, brewing all day. Used a helpline to chat and seeing GP tomorrow for some treatment intervention.

Had an emotional release on the helpline and feel a bit calmer now. Also took my anti anxiety pill. Might try pregablin. Did you mention it on another post? Is it effective?

My private insurer doesn't cover psych help anymore so I'll look for other means.

Be well all

Xx