I am simply unwilling to go there, although I have been put under pressure to visit him...because he is my dad etc etc

Exactly, Suzi, he said he does not have any money to visit me. My country struggles with the worst crisis, it will get milder over year and time, I told him to have patience. He instead (it was at beginning of this year) raised his voice and told me 200 EUR is nothing and I can be harsh with myself and save to visit him in May or asap and stay there for around a month or so!
After this, the least desire disappeared. He had also made a hint even last year that he would decide whom to leave his flat, to me or that cousin. But he realized this cousin who had seen him first time in his life will not obey him, so he would prefer me.
After a while, my Dad got milder or I have impression that my cousin or another man taught him how to talk to his daughter in better way.

Yes, life is short and everybody can decease anytime, I am just feeling vulnerable going there.