Gorgeous, you are very far from pathetic. You've been dealing with so much that I'm not surprised you are struggling. What is it that you think you should have achieved?
What's the hold up with your exes estate? Who can't agree on what to do with it? Can you ask for more help from those around you with your pottery etc?

I also agree with Paula - when was the last time you were talking to your Dr? Are you taking meds?