Enough is enough, I'm emotionally trapped

[Mattypompy]

Sorry, coming to this late, but wanted to add that the best thing I ever did was cutting my sister out of my life. I miss my niece's but she never let them call me auntie anyway. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and avoid toxicity, even if they are family.

I know now I'm a bit late but thank you for your comments.

I'm clearly an idiotic sucker for emotional abuse. Now she has been vacillating over a planned trip London before Xmas. I delayed other things, kept days free to go, after she implicitly agreed. Now she's playing games as to whether she can go before Xmas after I asked 3 weeks ago. Perhaps I'm paranoid but seems she enjoys the attempted control of emotional manipulation. Crazy stuff, pretty debased.

IÂ’m much like you. Family means everything and spent so many years trying to hold my family together, trying to be the best mother, daughter, sister, cousin that I could be. I failed miserably or so I thought. The trust was I was fighting for something that no one else cared about in the same way that I did and in the end I had to walk away from many of them. Of course I still loved them and always will but I had to learn that I was hurting myself by trying to maintain these relationships in a way that I believed they should be.

Every time you engage with your sister she is going to hurt you. You know this but still you put up with it because she is family but what is the point of family if they treat you so badly? Just because you came from the same womb doesnÂ’t mean she has the right to abuse you. You need to walk away when she gets nasty because you deserve better and if she genuinely cares about you she will learn that her behaviour is pushing you away and change how she interacts. Alternatively if she doesnÂ’t care then this will continue and is that something you want to go on for the rest of your life? It definitely sounds like you need to stay away from her for your own well-being. You have no control over her behaviour but you do have control over how you react to it.

Thanks Stella. Great perspective and analysis. I agree with every word. It's like there's an emotional masochist in me. I think part of the problem is being socially isolated, lonely and a social phone.

All of those factors compound a sense of unhappiness and frustration. I will think on your words.

Thanks again.

Matt👌