Hi Ladies, thanks for the reply and kind words, as usual. I know the only realistic option is to significantly reduce contact with her. I'm traditional in that I believe family is important and people should be kind, caring and loyal to each other. My faith also means I have to forgive people.

Unfortunately these two aspects of my personality present a problem when someone is chronically nasty, as you can be repeatedly exposed to abuse but there are no consequences for the abuser. That's what she is, an emotional abuser.

I know what I need to do, it's a question of doing it. But this was a new level of nasty to someone with enduring depressed social isolation. That isn't love, it's toxic abuse. And it was all a lie. Didn't even know the guy's sexuality and I do not care a jot.

She's often undermining my self esteem... I think as she's trying to project her pain.