I try to understand her adhd, but it’s difficult. The way she grabs me when she’s excitable or nervous, it hurts, and I just struggle to deal with it without getting upset or annoyed sometimes, which makes me not want to continue things with her, but it’s not her fault and she struggles without me, so now I almost feel it’s my duty to be there to keep her happy and stop her being self destructive (betting).

I may speak with a doctor, I just personally feel that meds aren’t my path currently, but I shan’t rule them out. I am just hoping therapy will be the thing to help my mind deal with things better, it’s generalised anxiety that I have been diagnosed with, so I just struggle to find the fun in anything social really.

I play football for a local ladies team, I enjoy training, but when it comes to matches on a Sunday, I become anxious as to whether I’ll be picked, the vast majority of the time I am picked, however then I wonder if I’m actually any good whilst on the field. I have no friends other than seeing the ladies at football on Wednesdays and occasional Sundays. But they have their own families and friends, so I wouldn’t want to bother them with my problems, although the captain has said I can talk to her whenever I want or need to, which was nice.